“What can I say that will help me to manage behaviour in my classroom?”

This is a question that I hear a lot when talking to new teachers. 

In the face of challenging behaviour, and the inevitable emotions it can generate, it can be difficult to maintain the calm and clarity we need to assertively maintain behavioural standards. And while there is a lot more to managing behaviour than the words we use, having some idea of what to say can help us feel more confident. 

In the classroom, there is so much that is out of our control, but what we say and how we say it is entirely up to us. Applying the following five phrases can help secure attention, defuse conflict and build positive classroom relationships: 

1. ‘Thank you’

There is a fine balance in teaching between conveying confidence and assertiveness and maintaining positive relationships. It is very easy to go too far either way: to be an authoritarian who seeks to force young people into behaving and communicates in a way that can feel “toxic” to pupils; or to be a people pleaser, whose communication style is limp and pleading.

“Thank you” provides a positive middle-ground. When used as a conclusion in any behavioural instruction, it implies a sense of trust and an expectation that the instruction will be followed without any protest.

2. ‘There are three people who are not focussed yet. I am waiting’

Pausing for a challenging class to settle can sometimes feel like it takes an eternity. And when it takes too long, we fall into firefighting mode, pouncing on named students in a futile attempt to control the noise. 

We want to keep this process as measured and as simple as possible. This phrase (spoken with conviction, an appropriately stern tone and standing still) highlights that you are carefully observing the room, know who the students are, and will not start talking until you have their attention. The actual number of students not focusing may well be higher, but keeping the numbers low in your phrase establishes that paying attention is the behavioural norm in your classroom. The anonymity also keeps conflict levels low and does not invite any reactive behaviour from students. 

3. ‘Your choices today…’

In order to avoid a breakdown of the relationships we cultivate with young people, we should focus on the behaviours they are demonstrating and not on them as an individual.

Using the more detached noun “choices” when discussing their behaviour helps the young person to recognise that they are responsible for their actions. The use of “today” also focuses on the present, and gives them the opportunity to make positive choices moving forward.  

4. ‘Can you show me how much work you have completed today?’

How much time do we lose in teaching by inadvertently getting into arguments with young people? We know that the classroom can often be an attention-seeking circus and that, inevitably, some behaviour is the result of a need for peer approval. 

Using this phrase to refocus students on the work can help to avoid a public dialogue, and diffuse potential conflicts. “I’ve noticed…” can be an excellent addition to this, a phrase that avoids judgement and helps to make the young person aware that you are tracking what they are doing. 

5. ‘You are working very hard today, thank you’

It is very easy to allow negativity bias to influence our interactions in the classroom. But if we are frequently using more critical language, this becomes draining for us and for the young people we teach. Ultimately, we want our language ratio to be more positive than negative, to help guide young people to make good behavioural choices. To do this, we need to clearly name the specific actions or behaviours that are contributing to a positive atmosphere. 

That also supports the relationships we are building with students who are doing everything we ask of them, every day - but who can feel resentment if they are never recognised. 

In order for such phrases to feel natural, and be communicated with clarity and conviction, we need to practise them. Taking every opportunity to do this will help them to become part of our automatic classroom repertoire: “Thank you, your choices today have been very positive.” 

Jamie Thom is a lecturer in education at Edinburgh Napier University and host of Beyond Survival: The New Teacher Podcast. His latest book is Talking To Teenagers: A Guide to Skilful Classroom Communication. He tweets @teachgratitude1