All behaviour is communication, so the advice goes. Every time I hear or read it, I say to myself: “And then what?”
This advice belongs with “it’s all about relationships” and “don’t sweat the small stuff” on the list of aphorisms that are undoubtedly well-meaning, but ultimately unhelpful.
All too often, the work is not done to help teachers translate this pithy phrase into something useful. And without this work, it is a shaky foundation for an approach to behaviour.
I have had far more success by looking at behaviours that challenge as indicating an unmet need - this was crucial when I led a school to improve behaviour from “requires improvement” to “outstanding” in 14 months. This approach really helps me figure out what might be driving children’s behaviours (and our own), but also what I and my colleagues are able to do to support them.
I may be unable to support that need sufficiently, in which case I can then try to source that support from someone who can. I know, I know, behaviour support colleagues and therapists are hard to come by, but at least we know what is needed and we can make a start.
More on behaviour:
But, this approach runs its own risks. The word “need” can be interpreted by some as pathologising the child, but this is a mistake. It could be the need to feel safe - a given for all of us, and a basic duty of us as teachers in creating the right climate in our classrooms - to belong, or to avoid shame. None of these have anything to do with a diagnosis or a special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) category.
We have all worked with children who are doing the best they can to have their needs met, yet behaving appallingly at the same time, sometimes in full knowledge of what the consequences will be for their behaviour. Hence, the “I DON’T CARE!” that we’ve all heard when advising a child of what may happen as a result of their behaviour.
A behaviour can be simultaneously unacceptable yet supremely effective. For example, a child ripping up a test paper and telling me to ‘F*** off!’ may be protecting themselves from the shame of their perceived certain failure in the test, with any sanction I can impose being preferable to then. I consider this as their way of being successful as they can’t succeed in the way that we want.
There is obviously a different way for them to handle that situation and my job as an educator is to teach them to do that. Yes, that may involve sanctions (or it may not), but it is a moment for education, not simply retribution. It is not sufficient for us to adopt the position that the sanction is education enough, as down that cul-de-sac lies heavier sanctions and eventual exclusion. This is just the naughty step dressed up as support.
Behaviour: a better toolbox
“All behaviour is communication” is also easy to dismiss - or ridicule if it’s on social media - by those who are suspicious or critical of relational approaches to supporting children to behave well.
It seems to be assumed that those who advocate for this approach, regard the behaviour as an involuntary act - and thus the child should not be held accountable, offending the critic’s sense of natural justice. This is a short hop from implying that these teachers are letting children do what they want and then letting them get away with it.
But of course, sanctions have their place. No one is realistically suggesting otherwise - but it can’t be the only spanner in the toolbox.
If the behaviour is reflexive or reactive, surely it aids us as the problem-solvers in the moment to establish if we can work out what is influencing someone’s behaviour? It gives us the best chance of de-escalating a situation, of preventing recurrence and improving behaviour over time. If it improves behaviour, and is consistent with our values as educators of children, then I’m not sure what the problem is.
So is all behaviour communication? Well, all behaviour, deliberate or subconscious, is purposive - so it will communicate something. But, if you’re going to offer this as advice to teachers, you’re going to have to do an awful lot more to help them turn this into practical strategies in the classroom.
Jarlath O’Brien is the author of Better Behaviour - A Guide for Teachers and Leading Better Behaviour - A Guide for School Leaders
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