20 ways teachers know they’re nearly at the end of the summer term

With just a week to go until most of England’s schools shut the gates on the academic year, there are certain tell-tale signs that term is nearly over...

13th July 2015, 11:02am

Helen Ward

The senior leadership team keep telling you it’s not the end of term yet.
The government decides to announce a major change to assessment.
In your dream you have finished writing all your reports…
…then you discover a secret classroom with 30 more students in it.
Jake asks if you really do like red wine a lot, like his mum says?
Alisha checks that you really do like unicorn earrings “like they sell in Claire’s Accessories” - even though you’re a man?
You find yourself talking to your own children in report-speak. “Billy, you have made a major strides in your understanding of why you shouldn’t throw fish fingers at your sister this year, but you need to put that understanding into practice.”
Your teacher-training friends who joined the independent sector are updating their Facebook statuses with “on the beach”, “shopping” or “relaxing”.
You welcome next year’s class for an afternoon. You realise that your colleague’s “funny stories” about George are not that funny now he’s in your class.
The deputy head turns up in shorts. She’s leaving for a new school next term.
Ofsted calls.
You update your social media status with “How can Ofsted call in the last week of term!?”
You have another dream that you’ve finished writing all your reports…
…this time you’ve done it.
You take tissues to the Year 6 leavers’ play…
…and you cry with laughter.
You are emotionally preparing to wave goodbye to your class - they’ll never be another lot like them.
You take the red wine and unicorn earrings home.
Your non-teacher friends really start upping the ante, asking how you’re going to “fill” your six weeks off.
It starts raining.