Teaching at the school your child attends can feel like walking a tightrope in some no-man’s land between being a teacher and a parent, and not doing a particularly good job of either role.

It does not have to be that way. After more than five years of teaching in the school my children attend, I have found a way of making it work based on the following five steps.

1. Develop the skin of a rhino, and the heart of a baby

Too often in teaching, we get this the wrong way round: we cultivate a thin skin and allow our hearts to become hardened over time. As a teacher-parent, you simply cannot afford for this to happen. Routine staff room comments about the “wild” behaviour of your child’s class have to bounce off you, while at the same time you ensure you maintain a soft and open heart towards that member of staff’s intentions, character and competence. The alternative is unthinkable.

2. Don’t make your colleagues feel uncomfortable

The other side of the same coin, of course, is that it is easy to put pressure on your children’s teachers in ways that are not reasonable. Sometimes it is even necessary to walk the long way round in order to avoid a member of staff whom you know would feel embarrassed or awkward at the thought of your presence while they taught your child. A good rule of thumb is to view yourself as any other parent with the same privileges and limitations - as far as possible.

3. Keep your mouth shut with other parents

I learnt quickly that problems are not just restricted to inside the school gates, especially when you live in the local community. It is easy to be minding your own business in the supermarket or at your children’s sports clubs and find yourself a magnet for other parents who have a particular gripe with the school, or who want you to pass a message on, or require some “insider” information on some issue. Whereas it’s always good to help where possible, it is very easy to say too much in these kinds of situations and it is often best to say as little as possible.

4. Take care with friendships with other staff

Unless managed carefully, this area can compromise both your work colleagues and your kids. I have to make sure that I go to the rugby on Friday night with “a friend from work” rather than my child’s next maths teacher. The key through it all is that you don’t want your kids to have too different an experience to their peers in a way that they may come to regret in time. Do all you can to avoid this.

5. Focus on the good

There is so much that is good about the arrangement I find myself in with my two boys. Even travelling to school together and talking about the day ahead provides special moments I wouldn’t exchange for the world.

Sure, you have to act surprised when they tell you they’ve been awarded a position of responsibility and you’ve already seen the list, but it’s worth it for the moments when you can by chance observe them from afar happily chatting or playing with their friends and developing into the well-rounded human beings you always hoped they would become.

In the final analysis, it is this abundance of the good that makes balancing on the tightrope between being a teacher and a parent so worthwhile.

Christian Pountain is head of RE and director of spirituality at a secondary school in Lancashire