Last week I read an article entitled “The disease of being busy”. The article highlighted the destructive impact that being constantly busy can have on our health and wellbeing. 

It struck me that, at this time of year, we can all be guilty of feeling frenetic and constantly busy. From handling student enquiries through to enrolment, retimetabling groups, preparing resources, dealing with hundreds of emails or managing sickness cover, there are times when the start of year can feel overwhelming.

In educational establishments across the country you will hear staff rushing down corridors, walking past a colleague with their own version of “Hi, how are you?”. Usually, this is followed by a polite reply and return check-in, irrespective of how the person actually is.

In different cultures around the world there are many different ways of asking this type of question and the article I read highlights the Persian approach of ”Haal-e shomaa chetoreh?” - ”How is your haal?” - which is inquiring about the transient state of your heart, or how your heart is doing at this very moment.

‘How are you really doing?’

The question is the real distinction between a “human being” versus a “human doing”. It is about trying to understand how you, the person, are feeling, not what you are running to next or what you are busy doing.

Having worked in FE for 12 years, I am aware that staff will not be walking around corridors asking colleagues how their heart is doing without receiving odd glances, or even laughter. However, I think it is important at this time of year to know who we need to check in with and where the best place to do it is, to ensure we get the real answer as to how they are doing, not a polite retort.

The head of learner services at my own college, Boston College, is a great example of someone who regularly checks in with people so subtly that they feel better, without really realising that that is what she has done. She tends to find a light touch ‘“reason” to see you, normally a question that is quick to answer, but often leads into a conversation that is more socially orientated.

College staff wellbeing

It is certainly not because of luck that these exchanges often happen at a quieter time of day. Through creating a relaxed environment, a more probing question about how you really are tends to follow. 

Remember that the bulk of our communication is through our body language - less of it is in the content of what we say. Therefore, when we are trying to check in with someone properly, it is likely that what he or she is not saying is important. Relaxed and smiling, versus distracted and not making eye contact, are clues you should try to notice.

I am not saying we should all become counsellors or listen to everyone else’s problems, which can affect your own mood. However, if a few of us adopted this type of approach with a handful of colleagues, the ripple effect of feeling valued could energise a much larger group of people.

Students will always come first in our day jobs and the “to-do” list does not go away, but taking the time to really ask people how they are might just be the outlet they need to feel better. 

Jo Maher is principal of Boston College