Ask anyone and they’ll tell you: being a parent is the most wonderful job in the world. But for one supposedly so natural, it’s also one of the toughest.
It’s as tough - and as rewarding - as teaching, which is why becoming a parent as a teacher delivers a double whammy. So why do we fail to acknowledge this and why, in a caring profession, is such little effort made to make it easier to be a parent and a teacher?
Parenthood very rarely makes itself seen and heard in education, so two encounters stand out for me. The first was to hear a woman at a conference state that she could not stand to ask her question because she was breastfeeding. The second was seeing a headteacher striding through his school with his twin baby girls tucked under each arm.
They were among the only times that I saw parenthood intrude on professional life. In a teaching workforce that is 74 per cent female and one of the youngest in the world - ie, of childbearing and child-rearing age - it is surprising that this is so.
One hears little mainstream discussion on the effect becoming a parent has on a teacher’s life, both before birth - IVF, the tiredness, running out of lessons to vomit - or after - the fear, the loneliness, the loss of confidence - as well as the effect being a teacher has on becoming a parent. As one teacher says in our “becoming a parent” special, “I’d hugely underestimated the impact my new role as a parent would have on my professional identity. I came to realise that pregnancy and maternity are rarely spoken about honestly”.
‘Teaching should be parent-friendly’
Everyone expects teachers to be great parents. They should be, surely, after all those years of practice looking after their pupils? What difference can there really be between enforcing a behaviour policy in school and at home? Or supporting the development of a child in the classroom versus in the kitchen? It is one of the myths that makes being a parent and a teacher that much harder than it should be. But there are plenty of others.
One is that you can time the birth magically for September to maximise your paid leave. Good luck with that - you’ll need it.
Another is that with all those holidays and “favourable” working hours, it will be easy to work flexibly. Sadly, that’s far from the truth. Flexible working is still hard to come by, owing to a dislike by parents of “part-time” teachers (particularly in primary) and timetabling issues. Childcare arrangements, too, are arguably more problematic: paying during school holidays is mandatory for many nurseries.
And what about when things go wrong? Schools are known for being understanding, kind and caring places when tragedy strikes pupils. But when it comes to staff, judging by our first-person accounts on miscarriage and postnatal depression, there is still work to be done.
This is frustrating: teaching should be the most parent-friendly of professions. That means ensuring a good work-life balance, with a concerted effort to ensure work does not intrude into family time and a determination to ensure people can work flexibly should they want to.
Schools should be compassionate and flexible employers: they can’t afford not to be. According to Department for Education stats, 27 per cent of those leaving teaching are women in their thirties - it’s a safe bet that this is because they decide it’s impossible to balance professional lives with family responsibility.
When it costs millions of pounds to train teachers to replace those who don’t come back to the classroom, that’s a ridiculous waste of money.
But schools should first and foremost be good, kind employers because it’s the right thing to do. People who undertake not one but two of the most wonderful jobs in the world surely deserve that.
@AnnMroz
