“Ms Doherty, can I have a quick word about Mrs Smith in Year 5…?”

Oh yes, you’ve had a conversation like this before if you are a teacher. You are standing in the playground when you spot the parent approaching and you start to wonder what the topic of the conversation might be: school dinners? homework? reading levels?

Nope, it is a complaint. About a colleague. And the nightmare begins.

Handling complaints

I’ve had parents come to do my door or call me about a TA who refuses to let children go to the toilet, or sends them out of the class for no reason.

I’ve had parents complain about fellow teachers who are too strict or who pick on their other child or who aren’t organised with homework.

I’ve also had parents complain about the new headteacher who has come in and made changes that the parents don’t agree with.

It’s uncomfortable, it’s awkward and it’s so easy to get it wrong.

Firstly, and most importantly, you need to remain professional and follow the policy in place in the school for complaints. This is a parent and, uncomfortable though it may be, they have chosen to speak to you about an issue. Pretending it is not happening or - and surely this should never happen - joining in, are not options. 

Secondly, you need to maintain your, and the school’s, relationship with the parent/family.  

But alongside the policy, here’s a more detailed version of approach I have adopted.

The Don’ts

Don’t agree

Nodding along with a smile on your face might seem supportive but to the parent it might seem like you’re in agreement. And agreement is not the message you want to give.

Don’t shut it down instantly

To continue having a good relationship with the parent, you need to be a listening ear. It might feel awkward to listen to a complaint about a colleague but that parent has chosen you for a reason and obviously feels there’s a need to raise a concern.

Don’t share it in the staffroom

Does this need any explanation? Really?

Don’t ignore it

Even if a parent hasn’t asked you to pass on the information or look into something, it’s your duty to make someone else aware of the situation in case it happens again or so it can be resolved.

The Dos

Do listen to the parent

Let that parent get it out of their system. They’ll appreciate you more for hearing them out and it will be a weight lifted for them. Just stopping them and saying you are not the person to talk to will almost always escalate the situation, rather than minimise it.

Do think carefully about your next step

Is there something you should or could do to help? For example, if it’s your TA at the centre of the complaint then do you need to be the one having the chat with them? Or is it something that needs to go above your head? Should you go straight to the staff member in question? Should you tell the parent to go and speak to the staff member in question? Does this need to go to SLT?

Your answer to all these questions will depend on the nature of the complaint. There is no single solution and you need to use your professional judgement wisely. It might be useful to think: if a parent made this complaint about me, how would I expect it to be handled? 

Shannen Doherty is a Year 4 teacher in south London