I once worked with a group of girls who had been wearing shorts under their skirts to stop boys revealing their underwear,” explains Sophie Bennett, who delivers workshops to young people as part of UK Feminista’s Schools Against Sexism project. “They hadn’t felt able to report it, and changed their own behaviour instead. I notice this a lot in schools - girls often learn to tolerate sexual harassment and accept it as a ‘normal’ part of school life.”

Bennett is deeply troubled by the lack of understanding about consent in schools - what it is, why it matters, and the role it plays creating a safer environment. Ignorance, she says, can lead to sexual bullying becoming normalised and going unreported.

Her experiences reflect the findings of the Commons Women and Equalities Select Committee’s recent inquiry into sexual harassment and sexual violence in schools, which revealed that 59 per cent of girls aged 13-21 faced some form of sexual harassment at school or college, with almost a third of 16- to 18-year-old girls experiencing unwanted sexual touching. “This sort of behaviour just isn’t acceptable in the workplace, so why is it in a school?” Bennett says.

The committee’s findings have prompted calls from MPs, including Labour’s Stella Creasy and Conservative former minister Maria Miller, who chairs the committee, to make sex and relationship education (SRE) compulsory and to put learning about consent at the heart of SRE.

“We cannot say that we safeguard our children in this country when we make sure they are taught about composting, but not consent,” Creasy said, while Miller insisted that “all teachers” should understand how to prevent sexual harassment and sexual violence.

But although teachers might agree, few know where to start when it comes to stamping out abuse.

“We know that both primary and secondary school teachers often lack the confidence, tools and knowledge to challenge sexism and to support students who experience sexual harassment and sexual violence,” Bennett says. “Teachers were saying to us repeatedly, ‘It’s fantastic you’re working with young people, but where’s the support for us?’ ”

Unless we put the proper tools into the hands of teachers, misconceptions around consent are likely to continue unchecked. That’s why organisations like UK Feminista are already running training programmes to pass on the knowledge to the people who need it most: classroom teachers. Here are some of the strategies they suggest.

Tips for primary teachers

Teach body ownership

Learning about consent starts with helping children to understand that they are in charge of their bodies and can always say “no” to a physical interaction.

Requests for physical touch should always be framed as a question and not an instruction. This is something that teachers should model when, for example, they are requesting that children hold hands.

“Identify opportunities for children or young people to both ask and be asked for consent,” says Cordelia Morrison, education coordinator for the charity Tender, which uses drama-based workshops to teach children about healthy relationships.

“Being able to practise giving and asking for consent can empower young people with the skills to negotiate future encounters,” she adds.

Use scientific terms for body parts

SRE provider Big Talk Education advises using scientific terms for genitals when having discussions with children about the parts of the body that are private.

This means that in the event of a child being inappropriately touched, they will have the vocabulary to provide exact information. For example, “he touched my noo-noo” is not as clear as “he touched my vagina”. Research has shown that an educated child is much more likely to speak out if they are subjected to abuse.

Discuss respecting others’ boundaries

It is important to teach children not only about their own right to refuse physical contact but also about how to respect other people’s boundaries. This means acknowledging that not everyone feels the same about different activities or interactions. For example, explain to children that some people like hugs from their friends while others might only like hugs from close family members.

Encourage “checking in”

Carol Perry, a science teacher who set up SRE organisation The Chat, suggests that the practice of “checking in” with one another is something that can be encouraged from as early as nursery and Reception.

“It’s about being respectful, telling people what you’re going to do and making sure they are comfortable with it,” Perry says.

And, Morrison notes, it is also important for teachers to check in with themselves when they are teaching SRE.

“You may feel comfortable leading an open discussion with one group of young people, but less so with a more challenging, older or unfamiliar class,” she says. “If the topic is not in your comfort zone, don’t panic or feel bad: you are still capable of teaching the key messages, but might just need to approach it differently.”

Tips for secondary teachers

Be specific in your definition of consent

While most teenagers know that 16 is the legal age of consent, few of them are able to define exactly what “consent” means, says Allison Havey, co-founder of the Rap Project, which aims to raise awareness about issues surrounding consent.

“Most teens think that lack of consent only occurs when one is threatened with physical force,” she adds. “Explain that consent is finite, and needs to be asked for each time a partner desires an act of intimacy.

“If someone consents to a sexual act on a Friday, it does not mean that he or she is consenting to it again on the Saturday. If someone consents to kissing, it doesn’t mean that they are consenting to other sexual acts. If someone has performed a sexual act in the past, they should not be expected to consent to that or any other sexual act in the future.”

Make consent a responsibility

Teach students that consent is not merely the absence of “no”, but the presence of a free and enthusiastically given “yes”. Morrison says that if someone is ever unsure whether their partner is consenting to something, it is their responsibility to check. This is especially true when one or both parties have been drinking alcohol - a scenario that Havey says often creates confusion for young people.

Teach in mixed-gender groups

While one might imagine that single-sex groups would give pupils the safe space to speak out and share experiences without fear of shame or being labelled, providers see the advantages of teaching consent in mixed groups at secondary level. “Boys and girls are ideally taught about consent together to understand the world from each other’s points of view,” Perry says.

Teach students to accept “no”

The experts say that boys need to be taught to hear “no” respectfully, rather than buying into messages that men need to be persistent to get what they want.

Perry is concerned about how lad culture and pornography can nurture a predatory mindset in boys and attempts to confront these views in SRE lessons. “We discuss the way some boys might start an evening thinking, ‘Let’s see what I can get away with’, looking for vulnerabilities: the girl who is drunk, or dressed in a way that’s perceived as ‘easy’,” she says.

Perry suggests describing typical scenarios in which teens would be likely to “victim-blame” and then challenging their ideas about who is responsible.

Rachel Bell is a freelance journalist and campaigner focusing on gender equality. She tweets @BettyBandit