“What are the best things about teaching?”
“Easter. Christmas. The summer.”
When people ask you what’s great about teaching, it’s de rigueur to reply with some witty throwaway remark. Sincerity seems too cheesy and American.
Of course, there are some universal great moments in teaching careers: seeing a pupil grasp a major concept for the first time; watching a young person develop from embryonic Year 7 to formidable sixth-former; having close relationships with your colleagues.
These are wonderful but need no further discussion. There are, however, whole strata of everyday pleasures that make teaching great. As coronavirus dominates the news and all conversations everywhere, it’s worth reminding ourselves of them.
In ascending order, here are my top 10 everyday pleasures of teaching.
10. When that cool or disruptive kid calls you “Mum”
This is not just great because said child is likely to keep a low profile for at least the next couple of lessons. It also means that you’ve established a safe and familial atmosphere in your classroom. (Or, of course, that you just look uncannily like that child’s mother.)
9. When you’re unleashed on a stationery-order catalogue
If you are being adult and responsible, it’s a chance to replenish important items like glue sticks, which is, of course, exciting on its own in a geeky kind of way.
But a braver - or less mature - teacher spends time idly circling such fripperies as photocopiers, climbing frames or even fire engines.
The very brave - or very infantile - teacher actually goes so far as to add these to the order form, to see how their head of department might react - like sneaking shopping into your mum’s trolley, but better.
8. Proper camaraderie in the staffroom
That moment when the staffroom door shuts, shoulders relax, the kettle’s on and you can talk freely to other adults, possibly with a hot coffee and - on exceptionally good days - a biscuit.
The urgency of only having a 15-minute time slot in which to cram all your adult conversation for the day makes time with your colleagues even more precious. A wholly unwholesome joke or witticism is priceless.
7. Bonus lesson off
A cookery demonstration? Cross-country trials? Visit from a local author?
Whatever the circumstances, no matter how much you like that class, a bonus lesson off is a gift horse from the pedagogical gods and should not be looked in the mouth.
6. Training days
Bear with me. Not everyone likes Inset, I know. And it’s always doubly hard knowing you’re at work and your pupils are enjoying one last day of holidays.
But teacher-training days are time to have genuinely useful conversations with your colleagues about life goals, pedagogy and everything in between.
If you are a parent of small children, it’s basically a holiday, too, as it’s one of the very few days of a whole year where you are not in charge of your own or someone else’s children. You can wear your jeans, and there’s time to doodle in your planner.
5. Finding a resource you have already made
You are racing to plan your lessons, about to embark on designing a worksheet, when a dim thought flutters through your mind. You’ve made/seen/borrowed this before!
A quick Google or search through your documents and you are all set. Like beating the satnav when driving, it’s an indescribably exhilarating feeling, derived from the most mundane of contexts.
4. Physical achievements in the classroom
Jumping elegantly from a table, swatting a wasp with a deft backhand or getting a ball of wastepaper in the basket behind your head...whatever it is, enjoy your moment of quiet pride.
3. Learning something new
Just when you think you know everything there is to know about Charlotte Brontë/helium/transubstantiation/whatever it is you know everything about, a pupil offers some fascinating link or nugget of information you’ve never come across.
This flips the lesson on its head for a moment, and pupils get to see you engrossed in your favourite subject again.
2. School trips
Yes, the risk-assessment writing is a study in monotony. But, once you’re on the bus, kids in trainers, packed lunches loaded, there’s a real buzz, a feeling of freedom and more than a hint of bunking off. Trips are awesome.
1. Last day of term
No more needs to be said.
Helen Mars is an English teacher in Yorkshire
