Socio-emotional intelligence (SEI) is something that we often talk about in relation to students. But how often do those of us who work in education think about our own levels of SEI and whether we need to improve them?

This is something that school leaders, in particular, need to take into consideration, because having role models who demonstrate the attributes of SEI is an important factor in helping students to develop those same attributes in themselves. In other words, if your staff aren’t in touch with their emotions, they won’t be able to coach students to more effectively manage theirs.

But what exactly is SEI? I define it as the ability to integrate feeling, intuition and cognition to acknowledge, understand, manage, apply and express our emotions and social interactions at the right time, for the right purpose, in the right context and with the right person.

That sounds complicated but its purpose is simple: the overall aim is to have a positive impact on our environment, and to engage ourselves and others to be present, authentic and open so that we can achieve a sense of wellbeing and build effective relationships in every aspect of our lives.

That point about wellbeing is particularly important. From research, we know that happier staff are more reliable, more productive and do better overall. They also experience less stress and burnout. What’s more, as SEI emphasises the importance of making a positive impact on ourselves, others and our environment, it can be transformative as a positive organisational culture initiative.

That’s why school leaders need to make space for their staff to reflect on their SEI and develop initiatives that foster this, with an emphasis on wellbeing. Doing so will have a positive impact, not just on students but on the whole school.

So, how do you help staff foster SEI? Here are some simple, research-evidenced examples that can be used as part of your school’s continuing professional development programme.

1. Categorise stressors

Developing self-awareness is the most important skill to enhance our SEI. However, if we are in a “doing mode”, we don’t have the time or headspace to reflect on our practice or our wellbeing. One way to encourage self-awareness can be to build it into the appraisal process by developing a wellness plan based around the different stressors that teachers face.

The idea is that staff organise their stressors into three categories. The first is for the things we may be worried about but cannot do anything to change, improve or remove. These can be external pressures, such as government initiatives. Those things should be put into what I call the “let it go” area of our plan.

The second category is for the things we can control, such as our daily routine, how we talk to people or how we respond to situations. This is our spotlight area where we should put our energy and work to develop our self-awareness.

The final category is our impact area, where we may not have control of what happens but can have influence. Examples of this could be meetings, initiatives or how much students learn. We may influence their outcome but we don’t have complete control. We should be aware of this area and identify how we can have a positive impact on it, with a focus on those aspects we can control.

2. Become the culture leader you wish to see

As leaders committed to staff wellbeing, we must ensure that we take care of our own needs and practise what we preach. By this, I mean that if we want staff to take their breaks, speak kindly or avoid working very long hours, we must lead by example.

Being kind may sound obvious but acting with purposeful kindness to foster a culture of wellness is very powerful. As culture leaders during the pandemic, our leadership team has focused on emphasising kindness and compassion when we communicate with staff. We have written weekly email messages with these values in mind and have included personal anecdotes to show a little bit of ourselves. This has made our community feel much closer and helped us to identify with each other. It fosters empathy, a sense of belonging and a culture of trust.

3. Make space to connect

Making the time to get to know our staff, and develop genuine and effective relationships, is a great way to motivate people. Creating safe spaces where staff can share their experiences and support each other will foster empathy, compassion and a sense of belonging. Sometimes, we experience things believing that we are the only ones. Finding that this is not the case, which can happen in these safe spaces, can be powerful and transformative.

4. Create a ‘gratitude wall’

Gratitude has been shown to increase people’s sense of wellbeing. It can make others more engaged and help them to find their sense of purpose. A “gratitude wall”, where staff can leave thank you messages for each other for anything - big or small - encourages social cohesiveness and overall kindness in the workplace. It can also encourage others to be more mindful of the good things that happen to us every day.

5. Wellbeing check-up

Starting team meetings by doing a wellbeing check can help people to open up and to feel valued. When I do this, I go around the room asking each participant by name to share how they are feeling today and then (for example) tell us something good that’s happened during the week. I change the second question every week to get people thinking about different aspects of their experience, but always keep it positive and uplifting.

There are different ways you could approach this exercise. The main thing is to centre the start of the meeting on appreciating the good that is always around, if you take the time to acknowledge it.

Camila Devis-Rozental is senior academic lead in socioemotional intelligence and service excellence at Bournemouth University

This article originally appeared in the 21 May 2021 issue under the headline “Do you need to work on your emotional IQ”