It is often said that the stories we tell ourselves make us who we are.
Certainly in education, whether working with our colleagues, the pupils we care for, or the families and other stakeholders we engage with - or even how we view ourselves - it is all too easy to write a narrative and never again deviate from the tale we initially created.
That might be positive in some instances - perhaps believing someone will always succeed no matter what obstacles they face. But it can be detrimental, too.
For example, if you decide somebody is not working hard enough, doesn’t care or is unwilling to change, it can create barriers to any meaningful improvement - both in terms of their performance and the support you may offer.
I recall a time in my career when a task wasn’t completed as I felt it should have been. I believed I had provided sufficient information and guidance, and so I assumed the issue was a lack of motivation to meet the expected high standard. It’s easy in such cases to build up walls of frustration or resentment.
A new perspective
However, after a conversation with a wise colleague, I was encouraged to reflect on the situation from a different perspective.
Was the initial training truly sufficient? Could the guidance have been shared in a way that made things clearer or easier for the staff involved? What could I have done to ensure the process was smoother and more accessible?
Flipping the narrative and considering other potential root causes for a job not meeting expectations is key. We often don’t choose the teams we lead, but the ability to reflect on how we can better support and develop others - rather than dismissing them as a lost cause - is vital for creating a positive culture.
Adopt a positive narrative
The same can be said about how we approach the children we care for. In education, the way we frame discussions about pupils can have a powerful ripple effect on how our teams approach intervention. By adopting a positive narrative, we can shift the focus to the child’s potential and what can be done to help them succeed.
For example, rather than viewing a pupil as “disengaged” or “difficult,” we might reframe the discussion to ask, “What strengths does this pupil have, and how can we build on them? What adjustments or support might help unlock their motivation?”
Positivity is contagious, and when we model this approach, our teams are more likely to view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles. This creates a culture of shared commitment, where every child is seen as capable of improvement and success.
Look inwards
And then there’s the narrative we create about ourselves.
If we frame our personal story as one in which we are the busiest people in the room, working harder than anyone else, it can have a deeply negative impact - not only on our own wellbeing but also on the morale of our team.
There’s nothing more deflating than hearing someone repeatedly announce how busy and overworked they are, especially when you, too, are putting in extra hours and going the extra mile.
But let’s reflect on this for a moment: we have chosen to be in this position. Changing the narrative to recognise that it is a privilege to do what we do - and that others would love to have the opportunities we’ve been given - can make the experience so much more enjoyable.
Seeing our role as a source of pride rather than pressure reframes the story and allows us to embrace the challenges with gratitude and purpose. Instead of focusing on how overwhelmed we feel, shift the narrative to celebrate collaboration and shared achievements.
A new outlook
In education, the narratives we build shape the cultures within our teams, our schools and our classrooms. Reflecting on these narratives - and being willing to challenge them - can unlock meaningful change.
Whether it’s about the people we lead, the pupils we teach, or ourselves, the story isn’t set in stone. Changing the narrative isn’t about ignoring challenges; it’s about approaching them with curiosity, compassion and the belief that growth is always possible.
So, the next time you find yourself frustrated or stuck in a particular story, take a moment to ask: Is there another way to view this? How can I rewrite this narrative to better serve everyone involved? The power to reshape our culture lies in the stories we choose to tell.
Ian Watts is assistant head of secondary (student wellbeing and community) at The International School @ ParkCity, Kuala Lumpur
