It’s that time of year: children are mostly settled in Nursery and Reception classes, but the difficulties are starting to show up and teachers are thinking about how to share their concerns with parents and carers.
Raising issues is always delicate. Some teachers shy away from it altogether. I remember one colleague in Reception telling a parent that their child had been “good as gold” at the end of every day. The truth was very different.
Denial doesn’t help, but nor does excessive bluntness. We need to be thoughtful and sensitive. Here are four things to bear in mind for those difficult conversations:
Consider parents’ and carers’ negative experiences of school
Staff in the early years are the ambassadors for the school system, setting the tone for future relationships. If parents left school on a bad note themselves, this is our opportunity to break the negative cycle.
More from Julian Grenier:
Almost without exception, every parent I have worked with has wanted the best for their child. They might have done or said things which were profoundly unhelpful at times, but we always shared a desire for their child to thrive.
I found that making time for parents to talk about their worries, or even their dislike of school, was important. Once parents felt they had been heard, it was possible to move on to a proper discussion of their hopes for their child, followed by a practical focus on how those hopes could be realised, and what barriers we needed to work on and overcome.
Being a good listener is necessary, but it’s not enough: we need to build a respectful and confident partnership with parents, building a realistic picture of the child’s strengths and difficulties.
Maintain a watchful eye
Child development is not linear. Many times, we can’t definitively say that a child is “delayed” because development is often bumpy, with some periods of surging forward, and others where progress seems slower.
For example, it’s important to take note when Ofsted says that “nearly a quarter of children who struggle with language at age 5 do not reach the expected standard in English by the end of primary school”, that means that three-quarters of those children struggling at age 5 will grow out of their difficulties and do well.
That’s why it often makes more sense to maintain a watchful eye, rather than state definitively that a young child has a delay.
In the case of speech and language, the key thing to note, as the researchers James Law and colleagues highlight, is whether ongoing monitoring suggests a persistent difficulty.
They add that we also need to be alert to signs that a child is experiencing “functional limitations” such as “poor educational attainment, limited everyday communication, social relationships and quality of life”.
Early in the year, it is often better to talk about children having a difficulty that might be temporary. Explain how you will maintain a watchful eye, provide more help and encouragement, and when you’ll review this.
Focus on the child’s best interests
At the heart of many difficult situations is a young child who has little insight into what’s happening or the impact of their behaviour.
Clear boundaries are important, but sanctions are useless if a young child doesn’t understand what’s gone wrong and what they might do differently next time.
That’s why it’s important to teach young children ways to recognise their emotions, calm themselves down and understand the impact of their actions on others. The Education Endowment Foundation’s (EEF’s) Early Years Evidence Store suggests a variety of practical strategies to use, which will help children to strengthen their self-regulation and executive function skills.
Think strategically as a school
Many of us have received little professional development on working with parents. The EEF reports that few schools have a strategic approach to this, despite the potential benefits.
Being on the front foot, rather than just reacting to problems, can set the scene for better engagement and fewer difficult conversations.
What’s more, the EEF finds that effective parental engagement can lead to learning gains of four months over the course of a year.
Julian Grenier CBE is the co-author of Putting the EYFS Curriculum into Practice
For the latest research, pedagogy and classroom advice, sign up for our weekly Teaching Essentials newsletter
