Beware, a fad is on the horizon. And it is a far more filthy fad than the humble fidget spinner or JoJo bow.

Is it with you already? Have you heard the whispers of WAP?

It’s a word you might want to familiarise yourself with ahead of this half term.

WAP: the new school fad? 

For those of you who don’t keep up with what the young people are listening to, it’s a gloriously filthy song by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion (warning the link is Not Safe For Work).

Pitched as a song about female empowerment, it’s ripe for linguistic abuse by students looking for a cheap laugh or an opportunity to test the boundaries.

“I was just singing, Miss” isn’t going to cut it with this one, I’m afraid, no matter how catchy it is, nor what kind of person may be in a room!

Inspired by TikTok 

You will need to have your wits about you to listen out for this making its way into students’ vernacular. If you hear the word “WAP” shouted around, you might need to have a word.

And a whole range of TikTok dances have been inspired by the beautiful females doing their thing in the video. Suffice to say, if you see students aimlessly humping the floor at break or lunch, it may be worth a swift intervention if you’re on duty. 

As with any fad, the quickest way to kill it is to ensure that teachers bring it to the classroom. Most of the lyrics, sadly, are not classroom-appropriate, but it is rich in teachable moments.

Bringing it to class

For those of you blessed with the opportunity to teach PSHE or sex ed, it affords you an unforgettable moment to teach students all about safe sex, offering a clear warning about weak withdrawal methods. 

Alongside this, you’ll find a unique opportunity to teach female students all about the inevitable Kegel exercises that lie ahead in their not too distant future.

Not only this, there’s also scope for a wonderful biology lesson and now is your chance to ensure that students know their uvula from their epiglottis!

English GCSE text?

For English teachers, the song is rich in simile and metaphor, but perhaps an exploration of comparing one’s nose to a credit card might, tragically, be a step too far. That said, you won’t look at your credit card in the same way ever again. 

The simplistic rhyming of “scream” and “cream” also offer an avenue for critical analysis of predictable rhyme schemes. Predictable, yes. Funny? Also yes.

If it hasn’t reached you yet, don’t worry - it soon will. And now you are prepared. Or as prepared as you could ever be.

Amy Forrester is an English teacher and director of pastoral care (key stage 4) at Cockermouth School in Cumbria