Some pupils surprise you as a teacher, even when you have been in the job for years.
There are those that pull amazing results out of the bag, when all the indications suggested otherwise; those that have hardly ever spoken a word, yet suddenly stride on stage at the end-of-year concert; and then there are those pupils who, with little warning, make a huge swerve in terms of behaviour - ditching universal compliance with school rules and, instead, getting involved with pupils much more known for breaking those rules.
Students who fall into the latter group need careful handling. It can be tempting to pull them aside and warn them that they are hanging around with ‘the wrong crowd’. But that approach will do you no favours at all.
The ‘wrong’ crowd?
Teenagers are often desperate to belong to a group - in fact, fitting in is often their sole aim - and once in a group, they will do all they can to defend their peers.
Receiving criticism from parents and teenagers about their friends can, therefore, cause them to react strongly.
And is there really such a thing as a ‘wrong crowd’? If the old idiom is true that birds of a feather flock together, then it isn’t the case of one individual merely being in the wrong crowd. There is a high degree of choice there, too.
There is also a lot of smoke and no fire in many of these cases. Just because there’s a rumour that a student smokes or brought vodka into school, it doesn’t mean that it’s true. Teachers and parents should be careful not to make snap decisions about individuals or friendship groups based on conjecture.
So, what should we do?
1. Don’t blame them
Fight the urge to blame the teenager. Instead of blaming, ask yourself what their reasons for choosing this group might be. Laying blame will make them feel backed into a corner and ultimately will lead to negative reactions.
2. Listen
Build a relationship of trust with the individual you are concerned about and communicate your concerns to them. If you listen, rather than judging or criticising them, they will be far more likely to engage with your concerns and explain their feelings about their peers.
3. Set your expectations
Whether an education professional or a parent, you must set clear expectations. If there are any grey areas, teenagers will try to use them to push boundaries.
Explain how certain behaviours are not appropriate or responsible and let them know the consequences if they continue to engage in these behaviours.
4. Hold them accountable
Where they do fail to meet your expectations, hold them accountable. This could be through contact between school and home, setting detentions or simply removing privileges.
Remember to be careful about judging. You should hold the individual accountable for their own actions, and not lay blame at their friendship group for ‘leading them astray’.
5. Provide them with a safe space
If you really do feel that the teenager is being led astray by the wrong crowd and you’re unsure how to intervene, then the best thing you can do for the moment is to ensure that they have a safe space available to them if needed.
Whether this is a pastoral hub or a particular space at home, teenagers should feel they have somewhere that they can feel safe, welcomed and not judged.
6. Contact outside agencies
If there are genuine concerns for a child’s welfare, for example, if you suspect they are hanging around with groups where they may be at risk of drug use or sexual exploitation, you must report it to the authorities immediately.
Teachers must follow the school’s safeguarding procedures, so it is imperative that these are made clear to all staff and that designated safeguarding leads are known.
Parents can also make contact with their child’s school if they suspect their child may be at risk, however, if there are real and immediate threats to their wellbeing, the police should be contacted.
