Like it or loathe it, you knew where you were with Ofsted. They’d call up to say they were coming and you’d shit yourself. Oh, for such a simple life now.
Ofsted can still command control of a headteacher’s bowels at will. But there is now a burgeoning list of inspectors, regulators and quangocrats demanding the attention of us poor academy folk.
The tussle between Ofsted and regional schools commissioners is nothing new. The willy-waving between the elders of our tribe - Sir Michael and Sir David - was taking on farcical proportions by the time the former retired. The latest chief inspector, Amanda Spielman, also appears to have succumbed to lure of power play.
Perhaps sensing the National Schools Commissioner on manoeuvres, Ofsted has upped the ante in the accountability arms race and is now poking about in curriculum. The days when multi-academy trust (MAT) CEOs passed on whispers of Ofsted’s imminent wing-clipping are past.
In return, Sir David has bought out the big guns, unveiling his Sub Regional School Improvement Boards - Jeez, even the name makes you shudder. There will be 32 of them. Each comprising Teaching School Council representatives, RSCs, reps from all Diocesan Boards of Education and - wait for it - directors of children’s services. What a genius move - give councils the opportunity to settle old scores with MATs by blocking their bids for a portion of the school improvement funding. Nice.
Not content with birthing this latest layer of godawful bureaucracy, Sir David has come up with another set of categories for school performance - a “schematic” no less. Now, apparently, we can be anything from “rapid improvers” or “ steady and secure”, down to the miserable “steady decliners” or “improver decliners”. What an exciting summer Sir David’s wife must have had.
But it’s not only Ofsted and RSCs flexing their muscles. The teaching school alliances (TSA) also have a lot to say, but not much to show for it. In reality, they are afraid of accountability through legal MAT structures - because then they might have to deliver. Too harsh? Name one TSA that lost funding because it failed to deliver its mandate.
And as for the National College itself - well, it’s almost impossible to hold anyone to account, because they are all too busy hearing the misdemeanours of wayward heads. (Even then, they lack the balls to do anything. Lock some kids in a room? No problem. You still have something to give to the profession…seriously?)
Even shy, retiring types such as Sir Anthony Seldon and Toby Young are trying to get in on the act with their new fast-track headship college. The Department for Education, for once, had their wits about them and declined the invitation to fund the college.
In the absence of clear leadership and direction, the education elves have come out to play, as everything seems up for grabs. Justine Greening needs to get a grip. Now that she finally has a mandate to get on with the job, she needs to give clear direction on accountability. Especially on whose phone call we should fear the most.
The author is the CEO of a MAT somewhere in England
