Have you ever involuntarily answered a question with your face? That happened to me when someone brought up “Hot Chocolate Friday” while I was with some fellow teachers and learning assistants.

I had not meant to be the focal point of the discussion, but my face inadvertently took over. I assume I looked like I was simultaneously chewing a lemon while being hit on the head with a hockey stick. But I listened in anyway - the information being thrown around suggested that a good few adults needed to sound off about it.

First, there was the question of nutritional value. Imagine having “Share a Coke with the head” as a thing, where it was socially and educationally acceptable to give children nearly 10 teaspoons of sugar as some sort of reward? Imagine the outcry. But we are happy to give them a mug of hot chocolate, which doesn’t have that much less sugar.

In my other ear was a colleague who sounded off that her own child’s behaviour at school had been immaculate, their attitude constantly at gold-star level - yet, they never made the grade for a hot-chocolate treat.

I almost found myself defending such schemes  - my bizarre facial contortions notwithstanding - as I pointed out that it was probably an attempt to establish some equity, a tiny bit of benign social engineering. After all, the “good kids” don’t need extra reasons to find themselves receiving praise in the head’s office.

Curious about the view from my wider network of friends, I canvassed opinion from my modest Twitter following. This provided interesting questions, such as how much thought goes into interventions like “Hot Chocolate with the Head”? Are teachers selecting pupils as a way of making themselves feel better that they’re doing something for these kids? And are all 33 people in the class nominated over the 38 weeks of the school year, rendering the process more or less pointless?

Share time not calories

One reassuring comment, which I fully agreed with, was this: rather than giving children several teaspoons of sugar on a rota basis, it would be better to focus on genuinely positive interactions and praise, coupled with excellent pupil relationships. I fully endorse this approach and genuinely believe I can talk positively about every pupil I teach. Maybe instead of signing a hot-chocolate referral, a teacher should be spending a breaktime playing table tennis against that child who gets right up your nose. In other words, a genuine sharing of your time - and a genuine chance to build that relationship - which the child may never forget.

I spoke to one teacher whose head singled out teachers each week, giving the most outstanding teacher a bottle of fizz. How would that feel? Especially if you’re battling against the odds to survive a week at school when feeling ill, while your baby is spewing all over you at night, and you feel like you deserve an OBE for holding it all together and not worsening the school’s cover situation - then another teacher comes along and scoops the award for being more present.

Having taught through the days of having three children, I am (at long darn last) no longer the dad of the tiny kids. I now find I understand the worn-out and bedraggled new mum or dad more, the tribulations of juggling family and school life without immediate reward. I may even help cover the odd class so that those new parents can see to their kids.

Now, where’s my hot chocolate?

Eddie White is a maths teacher in East Lothian