Never has a holiday been more needed, but what are the chances of actually having a break? 

If, like me, you are thinking about GCSE and A-level grades, then I am guessing you feel like a break is pretty minimal right now. The rollercoaster that has been this academic year shows no sign of slowing down - in fact, it seems the more we scream, the faster we go. 

As a profession, we have turned our practice on its head, we have adapted in nanoseconds and maintained a standard of education that just would not have been possible 20 years ago. Despite all obstacles - lack of devices, changing guidance and legislation (and do not even get me started on the wi-fi) - we have redesigned our curricula, upgraded our pedagogy, and kept on keeping on.

GCSE 2021: The weight of grading responsibility is heavy

But no good should ever go unpunished, and that is where we find ourselves now. Tired, confused and under more pressure than is sustainable. Because deciding upon the final outcome for our students is not an easy exercise. In fact, it is one of the hardest things we have ever been tasked to do as a profession.

Having the weight of such a responsibility in our hands is heavy. Which assessments to use? When should we use them? Do we wait for exam-board material? Are these exams by another name? What is everyone else doing? How am I going to mark it all? Are we being fair? Are the kids actually OK? 

And along come the Easter holidays, in the middle of the chaos: a time for quiet and calm. Or so it should be. A time to recharge, regroup and review. An essential act to allow for clarity and consideration for the task ahead. 

But, for many, the consideration will be all about formatting assessments, arranging moderation, setting up spreadsheets and reading guidance - and no doubt calming anxious students, sending words of support and reassurance over email, and hoping above hope that another bombshell isn’t sent our way any time soon.  

What does future-you need? 

As it is day one of holidays for many - or nearly there for some - I ask you, what does future-you need? Does future-you need you to have that spreadsheet perfectly formatted? Will future-you be disappointed that every assessment did not have the perfect front cover? Is future-you going to berate past-you for not being available on email every single day? 

Consider these questions, weigh up your options. What is the right answer for you? And this is the important bit: for you. 

Because whatever you decide, however you spend your holidays, it is your choice. Choose what is right for you, what will bring you the sense of calm and order you need to tackle the term ahead. 

My advice: ignore the noise of what anyone else is doing. Because they are not you, they have not spent the past year in your shoes and they will not spend the next term in them, either. Comparison is the thief of joy.

At best, we have half a term left with some of our students, who have had a tough ride over the past year. So, take time, do what you know is best for you and them. Most importantly, take time to jump off the carousel, exit the circus and breathe.

Louise Lewis is a research lead and deputy head of science in a Yorkshire secondary school. She tweets as @MissLLewis